you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
this is an emotional support booty call
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
