Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
tell me about the fingering
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