why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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