I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
