i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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