so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
