Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
