Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
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