You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
