somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
