Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
