So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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