the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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