I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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