It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
