your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
