you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
