and she was petting her beer can
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
