doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
