Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
