There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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