It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
