hotel room ftw
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize