Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
