i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
