what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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