It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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