the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
