arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize