She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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