the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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