I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
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