She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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