weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize