hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
