i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
