I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
