im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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