i permit you to call me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
bring money and cleavage
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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