woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
