I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
