I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
