Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
