he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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