shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
