Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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