I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
