Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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