How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
