its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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