She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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