Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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