Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
