From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
