If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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