Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
