Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The air was thick with penises
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
