I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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