i think i have two assholes
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
