Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize