Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
